Sunday, April 24, 2011

In the weeds

Throughout my college days, and many days after, I worked as a server, bartender, and eventually manager of a restaurant. I spent many days and nights at said restaurant, if not serving than eating and drinking. In fact, it's the place I met many people that remain important to me in my life, including my husband.

For those of you that have worked in the restaurant world, you may understand what it means to say, "I'm in the weeds!" Or you may not, I'm not sure if it was something we came up with or if it's well known throughout the restaurant industry. It's when you are super busy, a fellow server desperately looking for help may say, "Are you busy?"  to which you respond, "I'm in the weeds!" because you can't quite see your way out of the busyness.

Five years later, I find myself using this phrase yet again...although, this time it has nothing to do with serving or bartending.

While serving, when you are"in the weeds" your train of thought may be something like this...

"Table 5 needs ketchup. Refill waters at 6. Hostess just sat 4 at 3. Kitchen is out of rice. I really need to pee. Table 7 is staring at me like they need something. 2 needs more cokes. I forgot to eat dinner and this food looks good. Table 4 needs napkins. Etc...etc."

While mothering 2 month old twins and an almost 3 year old, your train of thought may be something like this...

"Madelyn wants cereal: Life cereal with no milk. Henry is hungry, wait, no that's Clara. Feed both babies. Change Henry. Help Madelyn sit on potty. Change Clara. Put Henry down for nap, followed by Clara. Wash bottles. Make pitcher of formula. Start load of laundry. Build puzzle with Madelyn. Get Henry before he wakes up Clara. I really need to pee. Change Henry. Breathe. Change Clara. Need to make bottles to prepare for rest of day/night. Fold laundry. I forgot to eat lunch and these cheerios look good. Feed babies. Give Madelyn snack. Breathe. Etc...etc."

So, if a fellow mother were to ask me, "Are you busy?" I would most certainly respond with...

"I'm in the weeds."

...and I can't quite see my way out of the busyness.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Letter to Madelyn

Dear Madelyn,

You are such an amazing big sister. The kindness you have shown to these two little bundles that have turned your life upside down makes my heart melt. Just today, Clara was upset and I couldn't get to her because I was changing Henry's diaper....I turned around and there you were - leaning over your little sister whispering, "Shh, it's okay Cara, it's okay," as you patted her belly. Clara calmed quickly and you turned to me with the proudest look on your face, "Mommy, she's happy now!" You really hate to see either babe upset and rush quickly to their side to comfort them each time.

with Clara

You like to play with your brother and sister too, always asking for their toys so you can divide them up between the two. I have a strong feeling you will always be the mediator. You also like to announce, "Henry (or Clara whichever babe is closer in proximity to you at the moment) is my best friend." Yes, it's sounds very sweet. Although, you tend to say everyone is your best friend these days...including Coltrane, our cat.

Sharing...notice the placement of all the toys

You like to build things. You made something with legos...took them to Clara, who was laying on a boppy watching you, and said, "These are for you Cara."

Often, you kiss Henry and Clara on the head and whisper, "Good morning." Although, it isn't always morning when you decide to do this.

I know that someday these moments may be few and far between but for now, I'm savoring every last one.

talking to Henry

Daddy gets a big kick out of the fact that you still struggle to tell Henry and Clara apart. They look nothing alike but 9 times out of 10, when asked you'll say the wrong name. It doesn't seem to phase you...you've even been known to say, "that one" or "this one" when referring to them.

with your hand on Clara and Henry on you

While you've taken the role as big sister quite seriously, realizing this means you are no longer the only child is a different story! Naturally any child struggles with the introduction of a new sibling but TWO new siblings...at the same time! It's mostly the amount of attention you get from me and Daddy that is difficult for you to understand. Yes, my dear, our world once revolved around you and only you. Someday, I'll explain to you that Henry and Clara never had this luxury- they've always had to share Mommy and Daddy!

A few days ago, you were asking me why Henry and Clara couldn't hold their own bottles....I explained that they are babies and babies can't feed themselves. This made you want me to feed you and I told you that you are a big girl to which you responded by looking up at me with those big beautiful blue eyes and saying (in all seriousness), "Mommy, I want to be a baby." Oh, darling - if only it were that simple.

You are really good at playing by yourself now. The other day, you were playing at your table in the dining room, Daddy walked by and asked you what you were doing and you said, "Um, I'm just havin fun."

I've struggled with a lot of "mommy guilt" since these babes have come along. Mostly because I've felt sorry for you. But after a few weeks, I realized just how silly I was being. You are truly enjoying yourself.

Every day holds something new for us and I look forward to watching all the days of you being a big sister.

playing 'this little piggy' with Henry

You are having so much fun.

Love,
Mommy